What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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