I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
