we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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