Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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