I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
