I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize