Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
