I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
