yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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