I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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