i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
