Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
