i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
