Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
