CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
