I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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