he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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