So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just had sex bonerless
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
