I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
