and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
