I'm jealous of your bromance
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
