My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
