You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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