i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
