I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
