Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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