absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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