I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
