its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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