you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
