capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
