You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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