on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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