You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so let's talk penis.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
