tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
