I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
