Sacagawea was the original milf.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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