do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
