I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
