Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
