we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
try to milk me bitch
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
