VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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