'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
time to smoke my breakfast
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
