She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
