eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
