YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
