Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
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