I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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