Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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