sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
