If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
